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Friday February 13, 2004

The business of beshert — Enterprising young women find success by searching for that perfect someone

by jay schwartz
j. staff

How does Andrea Madden make money, engage in tikkun olam, work on meeting a nice Jewish boy and get to throw parties all at once?

By being a professional yenta, inviting eligible young professionals to Date My Friend.

She and her three partners organize singles gatherings in the Bay Area, serving as hostesses and wearing flowers in their hair. Guests can come up to them and ask to be introduced to someone they are too shy to go up and talk to themselves.

And Madden will be proactive about making connections, minimizing the wallflower factor of so many singles bashes. “I’ll go up and introduce people to each other,” says Madden, 29, who goes by Dre.

The hostess role is directly inspired by the yentas of old, she adds. “Jews are a social people who want to make the world a better place. It’s always nice when you bring people together who wouldn’t otherwise have met.”

The premise of Date My Friend is simple. A single person is much more likely to feel comfortable meeting someone that a friend can vouch for. This is the seed that made Friendster.com — the social networking Web site that builds connections between people based on mutual friendships — such a popular culture sensation.

Date My Friend takes the premise of Friendster.com and brings it from cyberspace down to earth. Friends invite their friends to a party at a bar or public place, and guests have to RSVP in order to get in the door. Only single people are supposed to attend, so participants don’t have to face the awkward possibility of picking up someone who is married.

Partygoers pay an admission fee of approximately $5 to $10, significantly less than the cost of a dating or introduction service. Nonetheless, Date My Friend is making a profit, which the founders have reinvested as the enterprise takes off.

It all started with what was supposed to be a small gathering at a North Beach bar, and has blossomed into a series of events with thousands of attendees in the Bay Area, Los Angeles and New York.

On Super Bowl Sunday 2003, Madden, an unaffiliated Jew who is involved with AIPAC, the pro-Israel lobby, and the Young Adults Division of the S.F.-based Jewish Community Federation, was talking with her friend Trish Gardner while watching the big game. Gardner was writing a book on dating and both agreed that too many of their friends were single yet had never met one another.

Madden, Gardner and two other friends, Jennifer Heyman and Carrie Berk, decided to rent out a North Beach bar and invite their single friends and have their friends invite their single friends, and so on, and so on.

“Six hundred people showed up. It had a viral spread,” says Madden, an MBA student at Santa Clara University who is also working at eBay.

Date My Friend is both a second job and active social life for Madden and the other founders. In addition to coordinating the parties, all four are formal hostesses at Bay Area events. In addition to Madden, Heyman and Berk are Jewish, and making Jewish matches is important to their enterprise.

“The Jewish community is so small and Jews don’t go to events and this gets people out. People usually come with their friends, so even if they don’t meet somebody they have a great happy hour,” says Madden.

In the near future, Date My Friend plans on launching Date My Jewish Friend along with other specialized parties like Date My Gay Friend. The social enterprise-turned-moneymaker plans on growing by doing what it does best: making connections.

“One couple that met at a Date My Friend party is now living together,” Madden announces like the proud yenta she is. While she can’t quit her day job yet, the parties keep coming, along with the singles and profits. One question remains: Has Madden met her beshert (chosen one) at a Date My Friend bash?

“No, I’m single and looking. But we are having a blast.”

Date My Friend holds its next San Francisco party 6 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 13 at Loft 11, 316 Eleventh Street. To be invited, or to learn more about Date My Friend, go to www.datemyfriend.us.

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