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Friday August 11, 2006

Bar mitzvah at camp a dream come true for Pleasant Hill boy

by rachel sarah
correspondent

If you’re a teenager with learning challenges, having a bar or bat mitzvah can be an ordeal, to say the least. On top of keeping up with regular schoolwork, and life in general, you’re supposed to learn Hebrew, recite prayers and study.

Leor Macy, 13, of Pleasant Hill, knows this firsthand. Diagnosed with high-functioning autism and bipolar disorder, Leor tried Hebrew school, but found it simply too challenging.

This spring, however, Leor defied the odds. He was the first teen to have a bar mitzvah at the Bureau of Jewish Education’s annual Shabbat weekend for children with disabilities and their families.

“It was a really moving experience,” Flora Kupferman, special education consultant at the BJE, says of the May 27 ceremony at Camp Newman in Santa Rosa.

When Leor stood on the outdoor bimah to chant his Torah portion, “he was really nervous,” Kupferman says. “We all said, ‘You can do this.’ Then he got up there and did it. I just stood there sobbing.”

Leor’s mother, Aliza Abrams, was overjoyed. Her son had “high expectations.” Even though Hebrew school didn’t work out, “he’s always wanted to have a bar mitzvah,” Abrams says. “But how were we going to do this? He didn’t have the patience to sit through for a full service, but at camp he’s always loved the services.

“One day after a service at camp, I said, ‘What would you think about having your bar mitzvah here?’ He said, ‘Wow, that would be awesome.’“

“Leor showed such perseverance,” says Joel Siegal, a Bay Area music specialist and teacher who tutored Leor. “He really accomplished a lot in such a short time.”

Although learning Hebrew did not come easy for Leor, Siegal says, “he was very good with auditory learning. He worked a lot by listening and recognizing the words on the page. I reminded him what a gift he was bringing to the camp community.”

Leor’s father, Brad Macy of Concord, exuded pride in his son. “It was wonderful to see him shine like that. He’s got phenomenal potential, and it [the bar mitzvah] brought this out. I have the greatest hopes that things are going to work out.” (Macy was referring to his son’s recent setback: In July Leor was hospitalized for a seizure and will likely move to a residential facility.)

Abrams and her family are members of Congregation Bnai Shalom in Walnut Creek, where Leor’s 16-year-old sister, Ashira, had her bat mitzvah. But for kids like Leor, having a traditional bar mitzvah in a synagogue is challenging.

“It’s very difficult to go a service,” Abrams says. So the BJE Shabbat weekend “is really a godsend for us. At camp, there is a ‘No Shush’ policy, which means that if kids make noise, you can’t tell them to shush.”

At the camp, families “don’t have to be embarrassed at all about their kids’ behavior,” says Flora Kupferman. “We create an environment where it’s OK for the kids to be who they are. Families don’t find this in many other places.”

Kupferman has known Leor for five years, since he came to his first Shabbat weekend. “I’ve watched him grow from this little kid into a man,” she says.

At camp, there is ritual candlelighting, Havdallah, blessings said before and after meals, even challah-making. BJE Shabbat weekends are funded by a grant from the Jewish Community Endowment Kohn Fund and the Jewish Community Foundation, and the Jewish Community Federation of the Greater East Bay’s Fund for Jewish Learning & Culture — Preschool through College.

Kupferman remembers when Aliza Abrams first approached her last year about the possibility of Leor having his bar mitzvah at camp. “Tears sprang into my eyes. I said, ‘Yes, we can arrange that.’“

“It was very special,” adds Kupferman. “Leor showed people that a bar mitzvah is a possible lifecycle event for all kinds of kids.”

His bar mitzvah has inspired others, too. “I’ve had one camp family ask me some questions, and I gave them some suggestions. They’re starting to think about the process,” she notes.

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