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Friday September 29, 2006

On this Yom Kippur, ask ‘Avinu Malkeinu’ for a sense of humility

by rabbi lavey derby

Shabbat Shuvah
Ha’azinu
Deuteronomy 32:1-52
Hosea 14:2-10; Micah 7:18-20; Joel 2:15-27

Almost everyone hopes for a peak experience during the High Holy Days period, and almost everyone finds it during the singing of Avinu Malkeinu. The haunting melody that yearns for harmony, the percolating memories of years past, the wafting warmth of tradition, and the instinctive reaching out to embrace fellow worshipers all contribute to the Avinu Malkeinu experience: a momentary letting go of ego and a feeling of connectedness with the group and with the Transcendent.

In most of our synagogues, the final line of Avinu Malkeinu is sung heartily and often for many minutes, almost as if the congregation cannot let it go. In the shtetls of Eastern Europe, however, it was customary for the final line of Avinu Malkeinu to be chanted in a whisper. The Dubner Maggid, a Chassidic preacher whose magical stories brought Jewish tradition and faith to life for the masses of Jews who were not able to formally study Torah, explained the custom with this story:

Once a peddler from a small village went to the city for the big fair. As he wandered among the stalls he was amazed and overwhelmed by the goods he saw. He began to buy a little of this and a little of that, ordering merchandise from every vendor. When it came time to pay, the peddler realized he didn’t have enough money. Shamefaced, he began to whisper: “I am really in need of this merchandise, but I can’t pay for it all now. Is it possible you might let me have these things on credit?”

So it is for us, said the Dubner Maggid, on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. As we approach the Holy One we become excited and we ask to receive good health, forgiveness, long life, the ability to earn a good living. Yet when it comes time to pay for what we want we realize we have no method of payment, we have no merit. So we begin to whisper, shamefaced, “Avinu Malkeinu, be gracious and answer us for we are not deserving; act with compassion and loving kindness toward us, and redeem us.”

This type of humility is a rare commodity in today’s world in which self-sufficiency and self-actualization are the culture’s bywords. We are taught to live at the center of the universe and to be radically autonomous. Our needs and desires are of prime importance. It becomes a short, slippery slope from sufficiency to hubris, and from actualization to “it’s all about me.” Deuteronomy’s warning that we should protect ourselves from the trap of thinking “My power and my strength made all this goodness for me” could not be more current.

The Dubner Maggid’s teaching could not be more important, especially if we take the possibility of tshuvah seriously. If we act as if we are the center of the universe, where in our lives will there be room for God? If we are full of ourselves, what impetus is there for us to change?

Reb Levi Yitzhak of Berditchev used to say, “If it were not for the fact that the Torah mentions the idea of arrogance I would not believe that it is possible for any human being to experience arrogance. A human being is dust and ashes, how is it possible to be arrogant?”

Humility is the well from which all of virtues are drawn. When we contemplate our smallness in relation to the cosmos, the frailty of the human body and the multitude of mistakes we have made in our lives, we will naturally begin to develop modesty and humility. Self-centeredness and arrogance stem from a lack of awareness of reality. While maintaining our posture as dignified creatures, we might use Shabbat Shuvah as a time to develop humility. And let us pray that, this year, the politicians and world leaders will be blessed with open-eyed humility as well.

Rabbi Lavey Derby is spiritual leader of Conservative Congregation Kol Shofar in Tiburon.

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