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Friday November 17, 2006

Jokes

The Four Questions

The Sunday school lesson had just finished and the rabbi asked if the children had any questions. Little David quickly raised his hand.

“Yes, David? What question would you like to ask me?”

“I have four questions to ask you, rabbi. Is it true that after the children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, they then received the Ten Commandments?”

“Yes, David.”

“And the children of Israel also defeated the Philistines?”

“Yes, David, that’s also true.”

“And the children of Israel also fought the Romans and fought the Egyptians and built the Temple?”

“Again you are correct, David.”

“So my last question is, rabbi, what were the grown-ups doing all this time?”

© david minkoff

Short-lived

Hette had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience, during which she saw God and asked if this was the end for her.

God said no and told her that she had another 30 or 40 years to live.

As soon as she recovered, Hette figured that since she had another 30 or 40 years to live, she might as well stay in the hospital and have the facelift, liposuction and tummy tuck that she had always promised herself. When she got out of the hospital, she even changed the color of her hair.

Some weeks later, as Hette was crossing the street after leaving the hospital, she was knocked over and killed by a car.

When she arrived in front of God, Hette asked, “I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?”

God replies, “I didn’t recognize you.”

© david minkoff

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