Our narrative opens with the image of an elderly Jacob, who has lived reunited with Joseph in Egypt for 17 years. He

calls to that beloved and favored son, and a conversation of unusual tone ensues.

“Please, if I have found favor in your eyes, please [swear to] do kindness and truth with me,” Jacob says. “Please do not bury me in Egypt. For I will lie down with my fathers and you shall transport me out of Egypt and bury me in their tomb.” Joseph replies, “I will personally do as you have said.” Jacob insists, “Swear to me.” Joseph does so, and his father bows to him in gratitude (Gen. 47:29-31).

Wait a minute! Isn’t this a case of a father speaking to his son? Why does Jacob resort to begging? He doesn’t need to “find favor” in Joseph’s eyes, nor to say please, nor to beseech his son for kindness! And once Joseph has given his father his word, why is he pushed to swear to him nonetheless?

The passage is further complicated by what follows. In chapter 49, Jacob returns to his more decisive self and speaks with each of his sons. He sharply rebukes some, and blesses others. At the end of that chapter he shares the details of his burial wishes with the entire group, this time confident and commanding as he describes what will be done and the exact location of his intended grave. Why the dramatic change of tone?

A bit of reflection on the moment in life to which Jacob has arrived suggests a man anxious as he faces his own mortality. Jacob knows that he will die soon, and understandably struggles with that thought. Afraid, desperate to gain even the smallest bit of power over that which is beyond his control, he attends to his own funeral arrangements and considers his legacy. He begs his own son and makes him take an oath, not because he has reason to doubt Joseph but rather because he needs something solid to grab and hold. He is grasping for assurance in the face of the unknown, facing the anxiety of the ultimate journey.

Having obtained Joseph’s solemn promise to fulfill his wishes exactly, Jacob regains his composure and speaks with strength and clarity to the rest of his family. Now his purposes are different. He is no longer requesting that his wishes be honored when he will be unable to advocate for himself, but rather making public statements designed to prevent future squabbles. The Abarbanel explains that the underlying purpose of Jacob’s comments to each of his sons is to make clear why among them all it is Judah that will be the father of the Jewish monarchy. Similarly, Jacob may be making his wishes for his own burial public in order to avoid any possibility of dispute as to what is most appropriate.

The questions that face Jacob, and indeed all of us, are multiple, unsettling (to say the least) and evade definitive answer. First are the questions of the body: What will happen to it? Will I be buried among my loved ones? Will my wishes be carried out? Jacob gains comfort by selecting his burial site in advance and by making his wishes clear in advance to both his executor (Joseph) as well as to all those who might contest those requests.

There are, of course, the metaphysical questions. What will happen to me after I die? Will I continue to exist, and if so what is the nature and quality of that experience? Jacob finds consolation in the thought that he will be “gathered unto [his] forebearers” (Gen. 49:29); an allusion to a long and rich Jewish tradition regarding a further existence and awareness after leaving this world that is replete with the presence of loved ones and abiding awareness of the positive impact of one’s life and deeds.

Finally, the questions of legacy. What will happen to my children and to the causes and ideas I care most passionately about? Jacob takes time to attend to these issues, indicating who is to be king, helping them each to understand their individual strengths and weaknesses, and making clear that he had fought for monotheism and could not abide being buried in a land in which the dead were worshipped.

Jacob addressed his concerns, felt relief and died peacefully. In doing so, he modeled the need as well as the comfort offered by considering the ultimate questions of clear plans, metaphysics and legacy while this very short life allows us that meaningful opportunity.

Rabbi Judah Dardik is the spiritual leader at Oakland’s Beth Jacob. He can be reached at rabbi@bethjacoboakland.org .

CopyrightJ, the Jewish news weekly of Northern California