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Friday February 2, 2007

Homeschoolers weigh pros, cons of full-time motherhood

by stacey palevsky
staff writer

Deciding to homeschool often means that mom has to put a career on hold.

Even when homeschooling feels like the best choice for their children, it’s often not an easy choice to make as women.

“You were raised to be a feminist and go out and get a job, so it does feel somewhat strange not to be earning my own money,” said Suzette Silberman, who homeschools her 12- and 8-year-old daughters.

“I think it’s an issue for a lot of women who stay home whether they homeschool or not,” she added.

Dodi Friedenberg, a homeschooler in San Jose, said before she had children she didn’t even consider being a stay-at-home mom, let alone teaching them full time. She assumed it would be lonely and boring.

Plus, she liked working. For several years after she had children she worked part-time helping nonprofits with their computer needs.

Being at home with her children has “turned out to be much more fun, freeing and satisfying than I ever thought,” she said.

“Yes, there’s the sacrifice of financial independence, of being out in the world, of working without interruptions and being with other adults,” she added. “But it’s also tremendously rewarding and freeing. I get to enjoy the sunshine in the middle of the day instead of being in an office. There are always tradeoffs.”

Some homeschooling mothers always planned to stay home, but didn’t know they’d play the additional role of teacher.

Lisa Gottfried, of Napa, never wanted anyone else to raise her children. She and her husband decided they would do whatever necessary to make it work, and since her husband had a higher earning potential than she did, she would stay at home. The decision to homeschool followed.

“I’m happy to be home. I feel like I’ve finally found the job I was cut out for,” Gottfried said. “And if I weren’t homeschooling, I’d be doing something else entrepreneurial, where I could be in charge and set my own hours.”

Homeschooling mothers say when their children get older, they’ll probably find work outside the home. Friedenberg said she’d like to someday earn her own paycheck, but she’s not anxious for that day to come along. She enjoys teaching her children.

“When I think of a career, I’m doing what I always wanted to do, which is teach in the true sense of teaching — not managing a group, but enabling someone to learn.”

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