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Friday February 9, 2007

Jokes

Divine tech support

Abraham and Isaac are walking to the mount. Abraham says to Isaac, “You know, I’d really like to get you Windows Vista.”

Isaac says, “But my PC doesn’t have enough memory for it.”

Abraham replies, “Don’t worry, my son, God will provide the RAM.”

A dog’s lament

Morris gets a new dog and can’t wait to show him off to Shlomo. So when Shlomo arrives, Morris calls the dog into the house, bragging about how smart he is. The dog quickly comes running and stands looking up at his master, tail wagging furiously, mouth open, tongue hanging out, eyes bright with anticipation.

Morris points to the newspaper on the couch and commands, “FETCH!”

Immediately, the dog climbs onto the couch and sits down. His tail wagging stops and the doggie-smile disappears.

Looking balefully up at his master, the dog says in a whiny voice, “You think this is easy wagging my tail all the time? Oy vay. It hurts from so much wagging. And do you think that expensive organic dog food you’re feeding me is tasty? You try it. It’s dreck — much too salty. And you just don’t seem to care about me anymore. You just push me out the door three times a day. I can’t remember the last time you took me out for a walk.”

Shlomo is amazed. “What the heck is that? Your dog is sitting there talking.”

“Oh, I know,” explains Morris. “He’s young and I’m still training him. He thought I said KVETCH.”

© david minkoff

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