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Friday April 13, 2007

Jokes

Short takes

My mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty. They sent her home. She insisted she was guilty.

Any time a person goes into a delicatessen and orders pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

It was meal time during a flight on El Al. “Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked Moshe, seated in front. “What are my choices?” Moshe asked. “Yes or no,” she replied.

An elderly Jewish man is knocked down by a car and brought to the local hospital. A pretty nurse tucks him into bed and says, “Mr. Gevarter, are you comfortable?” Gevarter replies, “I make a nice living …”

A rabbi was opening his mail one morning. Taking a single sheet of paper from an envelope, he found written on it only one word: shmuck. At the next Friday night service, the rabbi announced, “I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their names, but this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name … and forgot to write a letter.”

And one final favorite: A waiter comes over to a table full of Jewish women and asks, “Is anything all right?”

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