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Jokes

Old habits …

Martin Lewis converts and becomes a priest.

He gives his first Mass in front of a number of high-ranking priests who came for the occasion. At the end of the new priest’s sermon, a cardinal goes up to congratulate him.

“Pastor Lewis,” he said, “That was very well done. You were just perfect. But next time, please don’t start your sermon with, “Fellow goyim … ”

© david minkoff


Walking on water

A rabbi, a priest and a minister are out fishing in the middle of a lake. The priest tells his two colleagues, “I left my extra bait in the car; I’ll be right back.” He gets out of the boat, walks across the water to the beach, goes to the car, walks back across the lake and gets into the boat. The rabbi stares at this in amazement.

Thirty minutes later, the minister says, “I need to use the restroom.” He, too, gets out of the boat, walks across the water, finds the nearest men’s room, walks back across the water and gets into the boat. The rabbi is absolutely dumbfounded.

The rabbi keeps thinking, “My faith is as great as theirs!” So he speaks up and says, “I need to get something to drink, there’s a refreshment stand on the beach.”

He stands up, puts his feet on the water and SPLASH, he goes straight down under the water. The priest and minister help him back into the boat. He is embarrassed, not to mention wet, but he knows he can do it if the other two can. So, he stands up again, steps out onto the water, and again, SPLASH! Again, he is dragged out and again he decides to try. As he is going down for the third time, the priest turns to the minister and asks, “Do you think we should show him where the rocks are?”

© david minkoff



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