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Friday May 4, 2007

Jokes

A dose of reality

Here are some new reality TV shows to look out for:

“The Minyanaire”: Three nice, good-looking young men go to an Orthodox singles event and tell the girls they match up with that they daven every day. Watch one girl’s reaction when she discovers that her man hasn’t been inside a shul since his bar mitzvah and goes to McDonalds every day.

“Schmeer Factor”: In each episode, contestants compete to see who is the bravest by trying out some new bagel and cream cheese combinations, such as shiitake mushroom bagels with lemon-and-marmite-flavored cream cheese or tortellini bagels with sheep’s-brain-and-quince flavored cream cheese.

“(Don’t) Meet My Parents”: In each episode, three Jewish sons take their girlfriends home to meet their parents. But the catch is that one of the girlfriends isn’t Jewish. Parents try to guess which son is in an interfaith dating situation so they can throw him out of the house and threaten to sit shivah for him.

“Jewish Survivor”: The 10 participants attend rounds of Jewish organization fundraising dinners. Each week, one participant is voted off the show for falling asleep during the guest speaker’s talk, or complaining about the chicken being dry, or eating three extra desserts, or snapping his fingers at the rabbi who looks just like one of the waiters, etc. The final “survivor” wins $100,000 — to be donated, of course, to his or her favorite Jewish charity.

© david minkoff

The faux pas

Miriam meets her friend Leah at the mall and says, “So what’s wrong with your hair, Leah? It looks just like a wig.”

“You know something, Miriam,” replies Leah, “it is a wig.”

“Well, what do you know,” says Miriam, “you would never notice it.”

© david minkoff

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