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Friday November 9, 2007

Jokes

Better than nothing

Bernie and Esther were not the most religious Jews — they only went to synagogue once a year, on Yom Kippur. As they were leaving the synagogue on that day, the rabbi said, “Bernie, it sure would be nice to see you and Esther here more than once a year!”

“I know,” replied Bernie, “but at least we keep the Ten Commandments.”

“That’s great,” the rabbi said. “I’m glad to hear that you keep the commandments.”

“Yes,” Bernie said proudly, “Esther keeps six of them, and I keep the other four.”

A white lie

Abe is reading the newspaper when his wife, Ruth, walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with her hand.

“What on earth was that for?” Abe shouts.

“That,” she replies, “was because I found a piece of paper in your pocket with the name ‘Judith Pasha’ written on it.”

“You’ve got it all wrong, darling,” Abe says. “Don’t you remember last week when I went to the horse races? Well, ‘Judith Pasha’ was the name of one of the horses I bet on while I was there.”

Ruth shrugs and walks away muttering to herself.

A few days later, Abe is reading the newspaper when Ruth again walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head, but this time much harder.

“What was that for?” Abe shouts, rubbing the back of his head.

Ruth replies, “Your horse just called.”

These jokes have been e-mailed to us by friends and associates who, for the most part, have downloaded them. We therefore cannot verify the authorship.

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