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Friday November 30, 2007

Jokes

Quick and easy

It’s the Summer Olympics and just before their race an American sprinter asks an Israeli opponent, “So what’s your best time for the 100 meters?”

“Just over eight seconds,” replies the Israeli.

“But the world record is around nine seconds,” says the astonished American.

“Yes,” says the Israeli, “but I know a shortcut.”

The doctor is in

Rifka is out shopping one very hot, humid Sunday afternoon when suddenly a man faints in the middle of the crosswalk. Traffic quickly piles up in all directions.

Rifka sees the man collapse and rushes over to help him. But as she kneels down to loosen his collar, a man emerges from the crowd, pushes her aside and says, “It’s all right, darling, I’ve taken a course in first aid.”

Rifka stands up and watches as he takes the man’s pulse and prepares to give artificial respiration. At this point, Rifka taps him on the shoulder and says, “When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m already here.”

One interpretation

Miriam, a Hebrew school teacher, just finished having a discussion with her class about the commandment to honor one’s mother and father. She then turns to the class and asks, “Can anyone here tell me what commandment tells us how to deal with our brothers and sisters?”

Sam immediately stands up and proudly replies, “Thou shalt not kill.”

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