by stacey palevsky
staff writer
Dan Appleman’s philosophy about successfully working with teenagers can be summed up in two words: Do nothing.
Most people who know Appleman, however, would never describe his 18 years of volunteer work with the B’nai B’rith Youth Organization as doing nothing.
Nobody throws a banquet for somebody who does nothing.
Recently, the members of Dr. Seuss AZA #195 (most of whom live in Cupertino and Sunnyvale) organized a surprise banquet for Appleman to thank him for serving as their volunteer adviser. More than 200 friends, teenagers and BBYO alumni attended the event at the Santa Clara Convention Center.
“When you ask Dan, ‘What is the role of an adviser?’ his immediate answer is ‘to do nothing,’” said Eshel Haritan, whose two sons are alumni of Dr. Seuss AZA. “He’s a gentle, guiding hand. He creates an environment where it’s OK to experiment and it’s OK to fail.”
That’s precisely what BBYO aims to do, regional staff says. The organization emphasizes leadership development through a fraternity- and sorority-based chapter structure (AZA for boys and BBG for girls) in which local and national programming is entirely youth-led. That held true for the Nov. 24 banquet in Appleman’s honor.
“He advises us in such a way that he makes you think he’s doing nothing and you’re doing everything, but then you realize you’re not that good to get it all right,” said Roi Bachmutsky, 16, a member of Dr. Seuss AZA and the event coordinator. “The fact that we planned something so big is a testament to how well he’s advised us.”
Appleman, 49, lives in San Jose. He’s a self-employed computer software engineer and author of more than a dozen technology books, including one called “Always Use Protection: A Teen’s Guide to Safe Computing.”
He got connected with (or, as Appleman jokes, “tricked into”) volunteering for BBYO when he taught a class at Saratoga’s Congregation Beth David called “Jewish Poet Society.”
“I’ve always thought that everyone should do some kind of tikkun olam,” Appleman said. “Of course, you don’t have to say yes to every request, but everyone should pick something. And being a BBYO adviser became my something.”
A dozen people — primarily alumni and current BBYO members — spoke at Appleman’s banquet. One teen tried to calculate how much time he had given to the organization (considering the chapter usually has two events each week plus two business meetings a month, and considering that Appleman makes himself available via email and telephone) and estimated the adviser had spent about 15,000 hours volunteering.
“That is far beyond the norm,” said Lane Schlessel, who oversees chapter advisers as BBYO’s national director of program enrichment. The average adviser works with a chapter for two to four years, he added.
Tomer Kagan, an alumni of Dr. Seuss AZA, started to volunteer two years ago as an adviser for a different AZA chapter. He said Appleman’s approach to advising has taught him how to succeed in that role.
“A lot of times, we as adults want to step up and solve problems for the teens,” Kagan said. “But Dan is great about not doing that. He’ll look at a problem and watch the teens try to solve it on their own and learn from that experience. He likes to say, ‘We let them twist an ankle but not break a leg.’”
For all the praise heaped on Appleman, he was modest about his contribution.
“It’s the chapter itself, what the boys do for each other,” he said. “I just play a supporting role.”
CopyrightJ, the Jewish news weekly of Northern California