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Friday December 21, 2007

Long before anger management, our rabbis knew its impact

by rabbi judah dardik

Vayechi

Genesis 47:28-50:26

I Kings 2:1-12

It sounds like the beginning of a suspense movie. A dying father gazes out prophetically into the beyond, and with his final breaths tells his children that he wants them to know what will be in the future, but is stopped before he has the chance.

As we near the end of the book of Bereishit, Yaakov calls his sons to his deathbed: “Assemble yourselves and I will tell you what will befall you at the end of days” (Gen. 49:1).

One would expect some predictions, but Yaakov fails to offer them and quickly moves on to other comments. What happened? The Midrash explains that he was in fact about to share the future with his family, but HaShem suddenly took away that vision because it was premature to divulge the information. So Yaakov led the discussion in a new direction.

Is that really it? Could there possibly be more to this story, particularly given that the text moves without so much as a sigh or a hesitation on Yaakov’s part? If his intentions were thwarted, why didn’t he say something about that?

Let’s look at what he continued to say, in a search for clues about what transpired at that fateful moment. Yaakov turns to address his children, offering many of them words of blessing. But his first comments are directed at his eldest three sons, Reuven, Shimon and Levi, and they are harsh. “Reuven, you are my firstborn … Impetuous like water, you cannot be foremost … Shimon and Levi are comrades … Violence is their craft … Accursed is their rage for it is intense” (Gen. 49:3-7).

One would think this to be a moment for reconciliation, for ending life on loving terms. Why save this criticism for the end? Can’t he be any nicer? These are his last words to them; what is compelling him to be so hard on them now?

The great Kabbalist and teacher Rav Chaim Vital once asked a fundamental question. He wondered why it is that character traits aren’t among the 613 commandments of the Torah. Why aren’t we explicitly commanded to be patient, disciplined or compassionate? He went on to explain that character traits are like the foundation of a building. Without them, you simply can’t build and the whole structure rests upon their solidity.

They are the support on which all of one’s life of good actions is built. It is thus interesting to note what Yaakov picked on: anger, impetuousness and a proclivity toward raging violence. The Talmud in Pesachim 66B notes that when people get angry, they lose their ability to think.

Similarly, the Talmud in Kiddushin 40B-41A says that an angry person “ends up with only their anger in their hands.” That’s it — they get nothing else. Jewish life stresses living with an eye toward long-term goals. That requires patience and discipline, and is incompatible with shortsightedness.

When one is angry, all ability to see into the future and plan better is out the window. This may be what Yaakov is truly trying to teach his sons — he wants to hand them the key to seeing toward “the end of days.”

He isn’t telling them what will happen at the end of days, but rather how to develop the perspective to see toward the end of days, to possess the wisdom to see what is coming. The heart of the message is to learn to think bigger picture and longer term. Do not be impetuous as Reuven was, or give in to anger as Shimon and Levi did. He focuses on them to highlight in his final message the need for character development in order to assure a stable and long-term oriented future.

A contrasting blessing is offered to their brother Yosef, the guy who waits patiently. He goes through decades of waiting for the realization of his dreams, and it is he who ends up successfully leading the greatest empire of that era.

As the great Mussar teacher Rabbi Yisrael of Salant taught, “Great individuals must have three virtues: they must not get tired, they must not get angry, and they must not be eager to see a project completed.”

Rabbi Judah Dardik is the spiritual leader at Orthodox Beth Jacob in Oakland. He can be reached at Rabbi@BethJacobOakland.org.

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