Printer Friendly

Email to A Friend

Friday May 23, 2008

Jewish same-sex couples rejoice at Supreme Court decision

by dan pine
staff writer

Right after Avi Goldberg learned the California Supreme Court had opened the door to same-sex marriage, he walked through that door.

With his partner of eight years, Will Garcia, standing before him, Goldberg says, “I got down on my knee — and I have a bad knee — in front of our boys, and proposed.”

Garcia said yes, but not before the San Francisco couple’s two young children, Shai and Boaz, got on their knees, too.

In the Bay Area LGBT community, and around the state, there was rejoicing over the court’s May 15 decision. For couples such as Goldberg and Garcia, it means a chuppah is in their future. Though no date is set, their wedding will take place at Congregation Sha’ar Zahav, a Reform synagogue in San Francisco with a largely LGBT membership.

“We’ve been holding out,” says Goldberg of their wedding. “We made a decision that we didn’t want to [marry] until the place we called home allowed us to do it. We always knew we had a valid family, but it’s nice to know we have validation.”

Over the past week, opponents of same-sex marriage have promised a November ballot initiative that would overturn the court. In the Jewish community, Orthodox groups such as Agudath Israel of America condemned the decision, with that organization’s Rabbi David Zweibel saying the court’s action “vilifies communities like ours and countless other Americans who consider the institution of marriage in its traditional form to be the foundation not only of the family but of civilized society.”

However, in a blow to anti-gay marriage activists in California, Republican Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has said he supports the high court’s 4-3 decision that gays and lesbians have a constitutional right to marry.

“It’s representative of changing times,” says Ora Prochovnik, a Sha’ar Zahav member and attorney who closely followed the case. “It was a courageous decision, enabled because the public is moving. Changes in the court and the street go hand in hand.”

In the Jewish community, the ruling drew cheers from many beyond gays and lesbians.

Judy Shanks, rabbi at Lafayette’s Temple Isaiah, had followed the case for months. Once the ruling came down, she was thrilled. “It’s too long in coming, but a welcome change in our community. It’s not just a civil rights issue. It’s a human rights issue. Every single person is created in God’s image, and who a person loves allows the person to expand that holiness, and create holiness.””

Prochovnik and her partner, Rena Frantz, have been in a committed relationship for nearly 25 years, and have been married as often as possible. They held their own private exchange of rings, and registered as domestic partners when that option opened up.

And they wed in San Francisco during Mayor Gavin Newsom’s short-lived same-sex marriage rebellion in 2004.

“People tend to collect marriages,” says Prochovnik. “Because there’s so little societal validation, we collect them. We’re already married, but it would be nice to get the legal protections.”

Added Shanks, The most upsetting argument against same-sex marriage is that somehow it damages the institution of marriage. To my mind it strengthens it, giving role models of love and commitment. I certainly don’t feel threatened.”

As for Goldberg and Garcia, they hope to tie the knot next spring, when Sha’ar Zahav Rabbi Camille Angel returns from sabbatical.

Having a Jewish wedding matters to both. A Philadelphia native, Goldberg grew up in the Orthodox and Conservative movements, and is a former Hebrew school teacher. He fell away from Judaism as an adult, but three years after moving to the Bay Area in 1997, he reconnected at Sha’ar Zahav.

Garcia, raised Catholic in Bakersfield, abandoned religion as a teen. But after meeting Goldberg, he found himself drawn to Judaism. Two years ago he converted.

With marriage licenses legally available to them in just a few weeks, Goldberg and Garcia look forward to a new era for the LGBT community. However, both understand that the fall election could undo the work of the court.

“There’s always a risk,” says Garcia. “If [the gay marriage ban] does pass, it would be like going back to the Middle Ages.”

Still, for them the Supreme Court decision provided a moment of triumph. “Before you always had this thing that the relationship is not valid, the family is not valid,” says Garcia. “This completes everything.”

Did you find this article interesting? Subscribe to our FREE newsletter and you'll be notified each week when "J." goes online. We'll tell you about the most important stories of the week and give you a link to each one.

This page contains a BETA version of Amazon contextual links. They are marked by the dashed underline.  Your purchases support our site. At times they point to items which are not related to the actual link. Please alert us by email if you discover objectionable links.